Why I broke up with my last boyfriend.

I broke up with my boyfriend easter sunday.  3 weeks earlier he complained that I was running the whole relationship and he wanted to do more so I said please that would be very nice for your to do more. The next Friday the rude side of him took me out to dinner. On the way there I asked him if he'd like to come over for Sunday dinner. He said would you be offended if I said no. I said no. But then asked why. I had to beg it out of him. He finally said because I make your girls sick. I said what in the world gave you that idea. He said because they leave right after dinner. Then he said really sassily. So are these Sunday dinners going to be an every week thing now. I was confused by his reaction, so I didn't say anything. I later told him his comments made me sad. He just acted like I was over reacting. I asked him if I was smothering him and he said no comment. Then the same date we were talking about marriage in a round about way. He was very rude the whole night. But he did end up coming to dinner. The next day we went to Saturday general conference and had a wonderful time. Then went back to his apartment and watched the afternoon session. I had to beg him to come over for dinner for Sunday conference. He got really sick afterwards. The next Friday he went to his daughters ball game and didn't invite me. So I asked him if I was being friend zoned. He didn't know what that meant so I told him and he said he'd have to think about it before he answered me. So I called him up and asked him if we were just friends now and he said I don't want to make you cry. So I said we need to talk about this. I went over there after choir practice and I told him marriage was being shelved and the ball was now in his court. I was done planning all the dates and if he wanted to still date me it was totally up to him now. He was non responsive and had no reaction. Then asked if I wanted to go see a movie and out to dinner. so I thought great he's taking the initiative. Again we had a great time. Then after the sunday fireside he invited me over to his apartment. I thought things were looking up. Then the next Friday he invited me to the dance, but he found out that he had work at 7 am next day, so we'd only be there for an hour. So I said never mind, we can just hang out and watch a movie. Then the next day he went to a family easter picnic and did not invite me. Whatever. I was sad, but that's what he always does. So Saturday evening no date. He calls me up Saturday night and asks if he can go to church with me. I said sure. Then I said he could hang out till 5 because I had been invited to Jenny's grandparents house for dinner. He said never mind I'll just go to my own ward. I said fine. Sunday he gives me the silent treatment. Then he posts on my
facebook page after I had posted Happy Easter, he posted "not". I had just said good night before he posted it. So I texted him and asked what was wrong. He said I thought you went to bed now youre asking me whats wrong? I told him I keep my phone by my bed and saw his not post. He said I didn't mean to wake you. I said I wasn't asleep tell me what youre feeling. He said I don't want you to stew over it. I said I'm not stewing please talk to me. He said I'm glad youre not stewing. I said Now tell me what your feeling please. He said I'm not feeling anything at the moment. I said why did you post that. He said I should have wished you a happy easter. I asked again why was it not a happy easter for you??? he said why the 3 question marks? I said because you wont tell me why. truth be told I had a miserable easter day for so many reasons. He said why in the world did you have a miserable easter? I said because I made you sad, i'm worried about Jenny and the baby and other reasons. He said I'm far from sad truthfully speaking. I said I'm sorry I messed up your easter plans. I don't want you to be sad. He said I'm not sad. I said are you angry at me? You're angry with me because I didn't make plans for you to spend today with me? He said no use crying about it now it's almost tomorrow. I said, I said I was sorry. I messed up. If you are that angry with me and can't forgive me... he said I'm not angry and I don't see how you messed up. You got invited to dinner you accepted and you went that's great. I said I messed up with you. I made you feel left out and I'm sorry. He said no worries. then I said It hurts to be left behind by a loved one, believe me I know. It hurts when they say I love you then leave you. He said I'm well aware of that. I said the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you. He then said are we now going to talk about Mr. Robbins leaving you? Good night. (that hurt so bad I cried harder than he's ever made me cry) I then said damn you. He said What? I said that hurt. I'm done. good bye Ken. This is the way he's communicated with me all through our relationship. Never giving me a straight answere or answering with a double meaning so whatever my reaction he can have an out. Dave talked that way also. I don't understand why he got so upset with me when he was doing the same thing to me over and over by not inviting me to his family functions. And I told him I was done doing the work and now he wants me to make him an Easter dinner and spend the whole day with him after he told me I was smothering him???? (the bipolar mind hard at work for ya). The only thing my boyfriend could've said that would have stabbed me to the core was being sassy and disrespectful of my feelings for Dave and what he did. The only thing I could not forgive. My boyfriend has made me cry so many times with his thoughtlessness and he's seen me cry and had no sympathy and made light of my feelings saying there you go again stewing.

There is also another red flag that I kept excusing away. It's regarding this 25 year old girl he befriended and became her mentor. He told me she was just a friend he met while volunteering at the food coalition center. They met right after his divorce. She has schizophrenia and had been sexually abused at a young age. In and out of the psychotic ward. So he felt it was his job to befriend her and mentor her. So they spent lots of time together. Long car rides up the canyons, out to eat, sports events, kiss and hugs and hand holding. went to the gym together every day. He was still "mentoring" her while in the middle of dating me. He would come to her rescue when she would be somewhere and have a psychotic episode to take her home. It was valentines day, I saw a card from her on his desk. I asked who it was from and he shrugged his shoulders and said oh that's just from his friend. So I picked it up and started to read it. It was covered with romantic sentiment's to him and there was a big whited out area. I asked why it was whited out and he said because she's crazy and it was inappropriate. I then saw a part she had written about how she loves snuggling him and how he kisses her cheeks and neck. So I said what in the world, he then grabbed it from me and put it in his desk. I told him this is not good, this is very inappropriate. I said she could cause you so much trouble and get the police involved and he said she's already tried. I told him to stop seeing her and he said he would.  He was like no big deal. Even then I forgave because he was after all bipolar. No accountability on his part, because he has a totally believable excuse. I told him she loves you romantically and he said "what makes you think that"? DUH. I wasn't even getting as much action as they were having (thank goodness). I asked him if he ever had romantic feelings for her and he said never.

Yes I was getting the big time (not good) vibes from him when these things would come up and I'd brush them aside because I didn't trust my feelings anymore and maybe I just wanted so bad to be loved I overlooked these obvious signals. so I haven't heard from him since I said goodbye. I doubt I'll hear an apology from him because his bipolar mind has no accountability, he's always the victim. I do feel very sorry for him, because he'll never find a good woman to marry. Maybe he'll find a rauntchy woman, a gold digger, or a schizophrenic woman to dupe into marrying him, but he'll never have a normal loving marriage.

I was the perfect catch for him. I have a home and a job. He lives in an apartment and on disability. I am super kind and patient. I'm not that bad looking. I'm not overweight. I'm healthy. I spoiled him with gifts and affection. What did I get in return? Nothing but attitude and him complaining that I wouldn't let him do anything for me. What the hec does that mean?  I didn't refuse anything from him. The only thing I did to not let him do for me was that I'd always offer to drive to his apartment on dates so he didn't have to backtrack 1/2 hour. He never offered to do anything for me. If he had I'd have let him. He should have treated me better. I deserve to be treated at least with a little respect.

He would blurt out while I was telling him something with a "I don't care". What? He never said just kidding or a sorry. I don't know if he thought that was funny. I sure didn't find it funny. Who says that?  How rude. At restaurants he wouldn't just blow his nose loudly but dig and pick his nose with his napkin and look at it. GROSE! He would burp out loud all the time. He would point at people. He would mimic people. I had to remind him to open the doors for me and help me down stairs. No basic manners. He did warn me that he was annoying at first and was able to be on his best behavior but as we got more and more comfortable with each other he got ruder and ruder. But he was able to control himself at first which means there's no excuses for his bad behavior.