Life with manic/depressives is no picnic.
I was listening to Doctor Lora the other day and a poor lady called in about her bi/pollar husband. She was crying and doctor Lora had no sympathy what-so-ever. She asked the lady if she saw the signs before they were even married. The caller said no and doc. Lora said I don't beleive you. You shouldn't have ever married this man. Then Doc. Lora said that bi/polar is just the new word that medical doctors are calling everything now days. Then told all listeners that she didn't know anything about bi/polar, depression etc and not to call her about these problems. I never did like doc. Lora and now I really don't like her.
Back when I was dating David. I did not see the signs of his depression. In those days emotional illnesses were not understood or talked about. So I didn't even think to watch out for the "signs" or what those "signs" even were. David didn't start showing signs of depression until about 15 years into our marriage. I just figured he was stressed about his job and that it would pass. He has a brother who is a couple of years older than him who started to have major "eppisodes" of bipolar, sczophrinia behavor. He would hear voices that would tell him to do bizar things. He being a good Mormon man thought he was receiving revelations. His experiences are a whole different story and are quite scary. So when David started to show signs of an emotional illness we took him to the doctor and started the whole drug circus. He would take the pills then feel good and stop taking the pills and be fine for quite a while. Then we moved from our small Salem home into a nicer home were we live now. He fell apart. He couldn't sleep. He would be up all night alone with his depression. He started to see and hear things. He won't tell me details to this day. He started to have suicidal thoughts and actually called a suicide hotline one night. He kept this secret from me as well. Through all this he was going to the doctor and trying different pills. He went to a physiciatrist and he didn't know how to help Dave, because he kept tring to find what caused these problems by delving into his past. That's what they are taught is that all emotional illinesses are caused by a traumatic past. But that is not the case with Dave. That doctor told Dave he didn't know how to help him. So we went to the church family therapist with Greg, because David said Greg was the problem. The therapist talked to all of us and determined that it was not Greg and that it was the depression illness that Dave had and that she could not help with that. The church therapists deal with family problems not clinical problems. So around and around we went, seeking answeres to a problem that has no answeres.
We also started to see the same signs of the depression in Greg.
Greg was to old to be on our insurance and we couldn't afford to pay for his seperate insurance. He was also struggling with his decsision to go on a mission. He was all gun ho at first, but then talked with our bishop at the time and the bishop told Greg he didn't have to go on a mission if he didn't want to. So Greg started to doubt the whole mission idea. But his patriarticle blessing said specific things about his mission and his companions and his mission president. But Greg still wouldn't commit and started being very obnoctious and sassy to us. So we shipped Greg off to live with Grandma and Grandpa Muhlestion for a while to see if they could do something with him.
My dad is very perswasive and gives good lectures. So a few months later Greg calls home and says he's going on that mission. I was estatic. Greg was called to the St. Lious Missouri mission. I got to experience the whole send your son on a mission experience. Leaving him at the MTC was hard, but I knew it was the best thing for him. At the MTC Greg experienced extreme stomach pains and visited the doctor there. The doctor told him it looked like an ulcer. But the pains soon went away. Greg had a difficult mission and witnessed a lot of difficult things mainly with church members being snotty with the missionarys and church politics, which I warned him of. But the Robbins curse reared it's ugly head and Greg's depression came out in full force. The mission pres. sent Greg to the doctor and got on antidepressants which helped. But the doctor was in St. Louis and Greg was several hours away and needed church memebers to take him in to St. Louis onced a month to see the doctor in order to get his prescriptions refilled. They weren't allowed to drive there themselves because of limitations on gas and miles put on their car. Here is were the problems start for Greg. The memebers in the more wealthier areas, for some reason did not like the missionairys and nobody would take the time to drive Greg to St. Louis 3 hours there and 3 hours back for his doctor appointments. I mean who would, that's far away and it's every month. This doctor was the only doctor the mission would let Greg go to for his depression. Now you would think they would have transferred Greg closer to his doctor or at least allow Greg to refill his prescriptions every month without a doctors appointment. The mission pres. wife who was over the medical told Greg all he had to do was call the doctor to get the prescriptions refilled. But when Greg would call the office told him he needed to come in every month. So Greg kept going on these meds then run out and off the meds over and over. Then Greg got transferred to a poor area,the members were great there and tried to get Greg to the doctor as often as they could, but still there were months he couldn't make it in to the doctor and tried to call the doctor but the doctor office wouldn't work with Greg. So off the meds he would go again. Now with antidepressants it is very dangereous to go off the medication, people go bullistic when they go off cold turkey. Meanwhile the mission pres. wife would be on Greg's case to get the meds and not willing to find out why Greg had to go in every month. So she would get mad at Greg. Then Greg got transferred again and moved into a dumpy trailer with a single guy, who was sloppy and had a messy dog. Anyway Greg had had it after a particulaly mean phone call from the pres. wife, who was stressed out because the mission president was in the hospital with a double heart bypass. The wife was actually pretty much running the show for several months because of Pres. Turley's heart attack. I believe because Pres. Turley was out of commision, that's when that ol adversary jumped in there to gum up the works. So Greg told her he was done with his mission and was going home. She didn't argue and said ok. While Greg was at the mission home waiting to be sent home, pres. Turley was released as the mission president. I wonder if Greg had just waited a couple of weeks, if the new president would have been more willing to work with Greg and kept him closer to the doctor. But Greg came home 6 months early. No home coming talk, no pats on the shoulder for a job well done. He did do good things on his mission. We welcomed him home. We got him into the doctor and put him on meds. The doctor said his prescription was good for a year. Now why couldn't the doctor do that in St. Louis??? Anyway the meds worked better than what he was taking on his mission. He is doing great so far. Greg has a great attitude now, he doesn't sas. As a matter of fact he tells us all the time how much he loves us. He learned some valuable lessons out there on his mission, that he couldn't have learned here at home, mainly how to use his preisthood and how to serve others. He did learn however that some members in the church can be mean and gossip and cause trouble.
The relationship between Greg and his dad has always been a heart ach for me. Though David loves Greg very much... they never talk to each other. They avoid each other like the pleag. I'm always telling one or the other what the other one did for them and how that proved the other loves them. I tell Greg, "see how your dad worked on your new car all day and got it registered and insured because he loves you". I tell Dave see how Greg went out and got a job and goes to church on his own? He's a good boy. But I think each of them only sees the weeknesses in the each other, which is their own weeknesses and they don't like to be reminded of those weeknesses.
With each new obsticle these two have to overcome, the manic/depression gets more pronounced. It's like opening Pandora's Box. Once it's been unleashed there is nothing that will make it all go back to the way it was. You have to accept that a new monster has been unleashed and deal with it. And that's how it is going to be for the rest of their lives with this illness. No wishing, it will go away. No praying, it will go away. No amount of good deeds will take it away. It is always there and I am the reasonning arbitrator for my son and husband. It is my job weather I wanted it or not. I keep the sanity in our home. It's my super hero power. I pray always that the illness will never turn violent like it has for David's brother and his sister. So far so good.
The 3 string necklaces are hard and take lots of time.
Now this necklace was very hard above, because I used posts between the main beads. The posts have to have a loop on the top and bottom then linked together.
This was a fun necklace. I was experimenting with mixing colors. I have silver caps on the wood beads, which gives the necklace an extra touch. My daughter Jessica liked it so much that I made one for her as well.
