Feeling low

Today I feel depressed. It's probably just because I have a bad cold.
My unemployment compensation is all gone. Dave's upset about it. He really wants me to get a good job to support him while in school. I have been applying all this time to different places. But who wants an old uneducated lady when there's pleanty of young college educated people out there. My girls are pretty depressed also.
A couple of weeks ago our home teacher pulled us aside in church to a private room and sat us down and had a little talk with us. He told us he recieved a spiritual message that there was something not right in our home spiritually. He wanted us to reveal to him what was going on that wasn't right. I had no idea what he wanted from us. Dave heard something totally different and isn't worried about it. I tend to stew about such things to much. Our home teacher has one of those "I'm the authority here" attitude, which rakes against my nerves. He always has a rebutle to everything we say. I wish he wasn't our home teacher. He doesn't have any pitty for us. I guess that's probably for our own good. But he starts lecturing to me and my girls, not Dave. Which bugs me so bad and makes the girls cry after he's gone. So I told them that since they are in a different ward and each have their own home teachers they didn't have to attend our home teacher. That little talk was very weird. After he asked what was going on in our home that wasn't in harmony with the spirit both he and Dave looked at me first thing expecting me to confess something. I know what I'm doing wrong. I'm a lazy bum, who isn't trying hard enough to get a job? I know that's what they both wanted me to say. I work 2 or 3 times a month tending a lady in our ward who had a stroke. I make $100 each day I'm there. At least I'm doing something. Doesn't count I guess. I don't know what else I can do.
They're a really weird family. One of those very extreme letter of the law no nonsense families.
I told Dave, if he is ever made our bishop, I am in big trouble. Dave said that would be good, then you would want to move. Dave thinks that He can sell our home and with the little money we make on it we can buy a little broken down shack or mobile home and fix it up. and that the spirit has been nudging him to do just that, I'm not kidding! He really wants to do that. I told him he could go jump.

Humiliations galor

Well, I was totally humiliated today at our relief society visiting teacher conference. I was invited to be in a womens singing quartet. We had one practice, but I practiced everyday at home and thought I had it down pretty good. Well the conference was wonderfull the spirit was strong, that is until we got up there. All the other ladies did wonderfully. But I got nervous and messed up my part royally. My part was weird anyway, it was like an echo. Well I either came in to soon or too late then lost my notes. I felt like asking for a do-over. Our practices sounded perfect. Last time I was in a quartet I messed up bad also, because of nerves. There was one small womens choir I was in were I did my best and actually got a compliment. Oh I feel so bad! The relief society presidency had worked so hard to make this evening perfect and I ruined it.
I couldn't stay for the desert, I got out of there fast. I want to be a good singer and not be afraid in front of people. But I'm just a big chicken.

Hieing to Kolob

This has been an interesting week. This week I took care of an older woman in our ward who had a stroke a year ago. She is paralized on the left side of her body. She can't move her left arm, leg and all the other muscles in between on the left side. She has to wear diapers, but she can tell when she needs to go #2, then needs help getting on and off the toilet. So many things I've taken for granted being able to do on my own. Rolling over in bed, sitting up, standing up, walking, running, jumping, bending over, reaching, lifting, getting dressed, going to the bathroom, showering, chores, thinking with a healthy brain. All these things my friend can no longer do on her own. She's also gained a lot of weight because she can't burn off the calories. She use to be my same size. Through it all I've not heard her complain once. I thought I would get grossed out changing her diapers and dealing with toilet issues, but I didn't. I felt only love for this woman and glad that I could help her. Her husband asked me if I could substitute for the main lady that takes care of her, when she needs a break. I said of course. Besides they pay very well. $10.00 an hour and it's usually and 11 hour day. It was very hard the first day, learning all the do's and dont's. I don't want to do that kind of work full time every day. I would come home exhausted.

I am the music leader in my wards' Relief Society, and as I was sitting with Ramona at the table while she ate her lunch I prepared for her, I was preparing my music appreciation time. I like to be guided by the spirit when I choose the hymns to sing. Right away a song popped into my head that I've been anxious to sing in Relief Society, because it's one of my very favorite hymns and I was waiting for just the right time to pick it. The hymn is If You Could Hie to Kolob. I love the harmonizing and the old English feel to this song and of course the message. In the book Our Latter Day Hymns, are interesting facts about this hymn. I first heard this hymn in my 20's and loved it right away and wondered why I didn't remember ever singing it in church before. Well I found out why. Because it was a different song in the old 1950 hymnbook. The words were the same but the tune was different. It was in the choir section of the book and it was extremely hard and awkward to sing, so it was never sung. The words were written a long time ago in 1856. I wish I could hear how the old tune went. In 1985 when the hymnbook was revised it was decided that the words were too important to be missed and a new tune was chosen. The tune is an old english folk melody called Kingsfold. Other religions have sung for many years the same tune with different words, I believe it's called I heard what Jesus said?

I had a very hard time though choosing the opening hymn and the closing hymn. I like the hymns to match with the lesson. The lesson was the church in former times and the Church today. I found a hymn that kinda matched for the opening song, but finally had to go with a generic hymn for the closing.

I gave my short talk about If You Could Hie to Kolob, then the lady giving todays lesson said jokingly if we could sing all the verses. I joked back that the hymn would end up going on and on forever like the meaning of the song. So we sang only the first two verses and was about to sit back down, when this same lady said no I really mean it, can we please sing all the verses. So we did and the spirit came flooding into the room. When we were done singing, she came up to the podium crying and said that hymn was perfect for the direction she had chosen for her lesson. The last time she had heard that hymn was at a funeral for one of her school students that died a couple of years ago and how she had felt the spirit witness to her during the hymn that there is truely no end to our existance in the universe. She merged the hymn into her lesson and the spirit was very strong and we were all in tears by the end.

I feel it's important to first invite the spirit into the meeting before the lesson. In the opening prayer of course we always ask for the spirit to be there. But I believe words only will not invite the spirit, they have to be felt. And we have to be united in the feeling of the spirit. What better way than with a prepared hymn. The RS presidency have been trying to get me to come up with a 6 month list of the hymns to be sung in RS, so they can be organized. They even gave me a list of all the lessons and when they would be taught. I sat down and tried really hard to do that, but the spirit couldn't help me feel the need for certain hymns that far in advance, because with each teacher, using the spirit to guide them with each lesson and they don't prepare all their lessons 6 months in advance. Situations change from day to day and we need to have the spirit guide the teachers on what to say to give comfort and courage to us women in our daily trials. How can I choose a hymn that will invite the spirit, until they've prepared their lesson?

The Table

Our last table was again a beautifull table set if it were still the 80's. That set we baught brand new about 20 years ago. It matched our old front room couches perfectly, how that happend was by chance. Anyway in keeping up with the upgrades, Dave found this lovely dining room set for only $80 on KSL.com. They sold it because they had just moved into a newer home and this set just didn't go with their new dining room. They spent over $1000 when they baught this set. So here's the picture of our new dining table and chairs.

The couch

We've been through a few couches so far. The last couch set in our front room was the perfect set if it were still the 80's. It was given to us by Dave's parents who got it from an inlaw. We took the 80's couches to Doug's Orem house to be used in his theater room in the basement.

This set, Dave found again on KSL.com for only $90 for the set. However it didn't match the green paint on the walls. So I re-painted the walls to match the couches. Just love all these projects Dave brings home for me to do. (NOT) However I do like these couches and we did need an update. and the new paint matches better with the new flooring we put in last year in the kitchen. It's the spending any amount of money right now that I'm not to happy with. He did use his computer business money to pay for them, so I forgave him.

Anyway here's a picture of them in my freshly painted front room. Eccept you can't see my brown walls very well in this photo.

I'm going to need matching curtains now.

The tent

We had a garage sale last fall right after Dave was laid off of work. We sold the tent that my parents gave us for $25. It was a good tent, it leaked a bit. It was just really big and bulky and we hardly every used it. Dave found a free tent on KSL.com. They said it was still good. However when we got it home and put it up, it was missing a pole and the front zipper was beyond repair and it was covered in mold. Out that tent went. We do have one tent that is a two person tent for the girls. So no camping trips for the family this year. O well. My girls don't like camping anymore anyway. Dayna gets car sick and heat exahstion very easy. And Jess doesn't like to be away from the computer for to long. I don't like the meal planning and packing. Dave loves camping. Ya because he doesn't have to do anything. I'm sure Dave will bring home a few more free tents from KSL.com before the summer is over. He's gotten to be quite the horder.

more beading

Just some more beading projects. I have lots more I need to post, but my camera ran out of battery juice. I'm out of the fancy beads. All I have left are accent beads. Guess I'll just have to take a trip over to honks and see if they have any left. Every time I find a new craft project and then find my materials at a cheep store, everyone else jumps on the band-wagon and buys up all the stuff I need. I was the one who asked the sales associate at the honks in Provo to please put in the word to order lots of beads, and they did. Apparently word got out that honks has cool beads and now they can't keep up with the demand. Darn these crazy Utah Mormon stay at home moms.

Dayna's graduation

Dayna graduated from Salem Hills High School. Here are some pictures of the most momentous day.

Sunday School Lesson

Today's lesson in sunday school was about Balaam and the talking donkey. This is a fun story to me and many interesting questions come to my mind that I wish there was time to go into more detail in class. I was brave enough to make a comment in class, but it didn't come out right and I ended up sounding dumb. I was also afraid the man who corrects everyone would say his usual "well actually..." but he didn't.
My thoughts about this story... Balaam dissobeys and takes off with the princes to find a way to get his reward from Balak without cursing the Isrealites. The donkey he rode on sees the angel of God 3 times and tried to stop or go the other way and each time Balaam beat the donkey. The final time the only thing the poor donkey could do was lay down and in the middle of being beaten the Lord opened the donkey's mouth. Here are some interesting clues in what the donkey says. "What have I done unto thee, that thou hast smittem me these three times? Balaams emediate response was not surprise at a talking donkey but... "because thou hast mocked me: I would there were a sword in mine hand, for now would I kill thee." Then the donkey said "Am I not thine donkey, upon which thou hast ridden ever since I was thine unto this day? was I ever wont to do so unto thee? in other words I've always been a good and obedient donkey to you. Why would Balaam say because thou hast mocked me to the donkey? How was the donkey mocking Balaam? and Balaam knew his donkey wouldn't dissobey unless there was a good reason. Why the extreme anger towards this poor donkey? I believe that Balaam knew full well that the lord was using the donkey to prevent him from being dissobiedent. The word that comes to my mind is defiance. Balaam wasn't angry at the donkey, but angry that the Lord was trying to keep him from his riches that he felt he deserved and took out his anger on the donkey. Then later after he tried to go around the Lords will again by counseling the Midianites to entice the Isrealites into sin, he was killed. The whole story is weird and interesting to me. Balaam doesn't sound like a very good person to me from the very begining, yet the Lord talks to Balaam and uses him to prophecy to Balak. Balaam was well known for his ability to bless, curse and prophecy. He almost sounds a little insane to me.
Then there's the donkey. Can all animals see angels? Do all animals really think this intellegently but are not able to communicate with us? It doesn't say the Lord put words into the donkey's mouth, it just says the Lord opened the donkey's mouth.
Anyway I tried to bring up the idea in Sunday school that Balaam knew what was going on with the donkey all along. The teacher was nice about it and asked why I would think that. But I couldn't explain well enough to make my point so I gave up. Oh well, at least I tried.

Bead necklaces I've made

The 3 string necklaces are hard and take lots of time.







Now this necklace was very hard above, because I used posts between the main beads. The posts have to have a loop on the top and bottom then linked together.
This was a fun necklace. I was experimenting with mixing colors. I have silver caps on the wood beads, which gives the necklace an extra touch. My daughter Jessica liked it so much that I made one for her as well.




The blue beads I baught for a different necklace matched perfectly with the blue swirls in the big green beads in this necklace pictured below. I am very pleased with how it turned out.

This necklace pictured below was an assignment my daughter Jessica gave me. She had the pendant and asked me to make a necklace around it. I just happen to have the right color of beads in my stash for it and I think it turned out beautiful.
This necklace was hard below. The flowers are made from glass teardrop shaped beads. After you string 4 beads together you take the string back through the first bead. Jessica likes to wear this one layered with another necklace with the same beads. It has a very lacey look to it.






I love making beaded jewlery. I sit in my work area and listen to music and let the creativity flow. I love how they evolve into interesting designs. I never buy beads with an intended design in mind. I buy what looks pretty to me. I keep my eye open for interesting beads. I actually find a lot of my beads at the dollar store.

I remember as a very little girl, sneaking into my moms jewlery box and stealing her beaded necklaces and then... now this would have made me very angry if my daughters had done this, tear them apart. I still have some the green beads I stole from one of her necklaces. I have another confession about my moms jewlery box when I was little. My dad had ruby cuflinks, I didn't know they were real, and I popped out the rubies and snuck off with them. I had these rubies in my jewlery box for years and years. Then one day a few years ago, I was cleaning my old jewlery box and came upon them. I felt horrible about the theft. I don't even think my mom realized the rubies were gone or figured they had popped out by themselves and got lost. I never told my mom what I had done. I didn't want to face my mom with the fact I had done this, but I wanted to give them back. So I snuck the rubies back into her jewlery box. So mom if you're reading this, look in your jewlery box for them. I'm very sorry for ruining dad's ruby cuflinks.