I had a disturbing dream last night.  I dreamed I was walking up to a very plain and small home. It looked more like a little office building.  Square large windows no lawn, but simply landscaped.  I walk right in like I was perfectly welcome.  On the main floor it was open with a small kitchen dining area and living area all one room.  The windows were big and open.  No curtains or blinds.  No decorations or pictures no clutter.  I immediately went downstairs like I knew what I was doing.  In the basement there were no windows very dark and cool.  It was a big living room/office area.  My kids were there, all little.  I got the sense that I was there to pick them up from an over-nighter.  There was a big sectional comfy couch they were all sitting on and watching something on the big TV.  They were all nicely dressed and clean.  The whole house was very clean.  Then there was David sitting quietly reading a book. There was an office area with his computers.  No bed in sight.  Just the big couch and a comfy lounge chair and book shelves with his books.  I got the sense that he didn't have a bed that he just slept on either the lounge chair or the couch fully dressed.  He would take cat naps throughout the 24 hour day and didn't sleep for 8 hours like what is normal.  All very much like he was doing at home before his death.  I looked at Dave sitting there with his stoic face.  I then asked him to come home to me, but he just shook his head.  I then asked if I could move in there with him and he again shook his head.  He was content to live alone in his dark cool basement with his books, computers and music. Not happy or joyous but just content.  He still loved me tho, but didn't want to live with me. He wasn't mean or doing anything wrong, just wanted his peace and quiet without the drama of his naggy wife. In my dream I got the sense that he wanted to divorce so I could get on with my life and not be hampered with his dreary life, but that I refused. and so we lived our separate lives.  This dream made me very sad and depressed.  But that is really the way David wanted to live when he was here, just left alone with his books, music and computers in a very simple stress free environment.